The cover image this month was from a video that I rushed to produce for the Comedy Pageant because I’m bad at keeping up with deadlines. and won’t be posting. It’s a fine picture I guess.

I wrote an article about the Comedy Pageant that I put back in the drafts less than a day later. I’m glad I shelved it before it spread further. I don’t regret writing it, but I deeply regret anyone else reading it... A lot of what I said wasn’t fair and some of it wasn’t even accurate. Ultimately, what I’m feeling isn’t even about the pageant.

I’m upset that I don’t feel like I’m suited for clubs anymore, and I wanted somebody to blame for that. There’s no one to blame though. I have been broadly supported, respected, and appreciated for years.

Right now I want to grow in ways that aren’t conducive to night life. Technically, anything is possible. I’ve found some success going against the mold, and so have others. But I can only swim against the current for so long before I have to just find new waters.

If it was just that it would be one thing, but it’s kind of more personal. I’ve been struggling in large loud social settings. I’m not sure exactly when it started, but it hasn’t been getting better and I can’t keep trying to force myself out just to appear normal. I don’t want to talk too much about that issue though, let’s get back to the September issue.

I misplaced my SD card, so almost all my pictures from the Comedy Pageant are lost Flamedia until I find it. I’ll probably retcon this issue when I do. Luckily, I still have my photos from Last Ditch since I had moved those to my hard drive. I didn’t take any centerfold shots this month… pity. I’ll definitely retcon that. Yayyy digital media.

I did record some covers like I said I would. Haven’t listened to them yet though, let alone edited them or gotten them ready to post.

Even though September has been kind of awful, there were some nice parts too.

I finished a Swatchy. I had mentioned in the intro I might do something with an existing one, but I literally have zero recollection of what I meant by that. This month’s Swatchy was Buzz In. It came out fine. I’m just glad I still did one in spite of having a rough month.

I rewrote an old article with a newer more positive spin. I felt a sense of closure reframing those ideas, and giving the advice I wish I had heard. Not exactly an advice column like I’ve been saying I want to start… but it’s something.

I had a great time hosting a bingo. That gig came at the perfect time. Like I said, I’ve been struggling with big social settings. I had some doubts that I could do this, but I was funny and charming and social and it was fine. I wasn’t there to be judged, or to lip sync, or to talk about how my regular boy life is going (that last one is the worst of all). I just got to make jokes and facilitate bingo.

Easily the highlight of this month has been my progress on the Flaminimi gallery. Game development has been a lifelong dream, and I’m finally buckling down and doing it. The real world often feels like too much and not enough all at once. This digital space is my own, and it can be whatever I imagine. I hope you’ll enjoy exploring it and learning about it even a quarter as much as I enjoy creating it.