Flaminia

Woah a month with just one diary entry… wild. If I haven’t been etching my thoughts, dreams, and feelings into my window, did they even happen at all?

… I think so, yeah!

My poor malnourished diary… I’ll give you a longer entry to make up for this being the only feed for December. Yummy yummy Flamintrospection.

Taking a break from my regular web maintenence helped put things back into perspective. I started this website over a year ago now because I felt like I had a lot of talents that didn’t fit so well on nightclub stages or social media. Turns out I have a lot of talents that don’t necessarily fit neatly together either. Having my drawings, pictures, blog, and more quickly made this site a pretty tangled web.

At the beginning of this year I started FAGIOLINA , my digital magazina. I decided to do it for a few reasons. It was partially a marketing gimick to promote projects I helped Moxie and Glass on last December. It was partially just fun and silly. But mostly, I needed a framing device for all my different mediums. With a digital magazine I could consolidate a bunch of disparate pages. And with a monthly time frame it forced me, Flaminia, to actually meet deadlines and share my work.

It was a refreshing constraint at first. Not having enough time to second guess myself. Throwing things at the wall just to see what stuck. The fact that most of my uploads got very little attention was encouraging too. There was nobody to disappoint except myself. I learned so much about making a website, graphic design, art, writing, and more by challenging myself consistently and letting myself make mistakes.

As the issues went on though, it got harder. Mostly for personal reasons. It’s been a rough few months. I had too many issues to focus on issues. I don’t wanna get too into it, but what I will say is that I’ve just had a lot of self doubt and existential dread (which is admittedly pretty standard for my generation).

As it got harder to make new pages, I felt worse about myself for not being able to do it. What does it say about me, Flaminia, if I leave another project unfinished? Does anything I do on here matter if the layout is too esoteric for anyone to find anything? Will anything I do get more recognition than the ocean of easily digestible mass produced slop?

I decided to cut the November and December issues. Which was the right call. I’ve been able to focus on studying gamedev, new upcoming opportunities, organizing this site a little bit, and most importantly, chilling out.

I feel ready to come back in 2026, but from now on FAGIOLINA (and my diary pages) will be seasonal installments instead of monthly. Consistency is important, grinding is not. I want to focus on what I care about: Experimenting and improving. Thoughtfully discussing the time and culture we live in. Exploring ideas and emotions in a way that only a human being can.

See you again next year diary <3

12/27/2025 8:46 PM