I love telling Diary what’s new :)
I’m behind again haha, but it feels a lot less urgent than it did at the beginning of October. It’s my website, my magazina, my schedule. Me, me, me, Flaminia! October’s over in the real world, but I’m not done with it until I’m done with it.
My gallery update is out! You can click here to play it online or download it (performance is a lot better when downloaded) I’m working on a devlog that’ll be up on my blog soon. Not rushing though. Just living my silly little life.
10/34/2025 7:05 PM
Gallery update will be out so soon! I know I’ve been saying this like… for a couple weeks, but I mean it! I’m just getting the new dress up menu set up and functional… and maybe adding one small quest line and unlockable.
I ended up shelving some of the features I had in mind for dressup for the sake of actually getting this update out in the next couple of days. Not scrapped, just shelved! I’ll talk more about that in this month’s blog post.
10/29/2025 10:34 PM
Been feeling a little better. Reporting on my feeelings all the time is getting kind of tedious. Even for a diary page it’s been a lot. October’s almost over, and I’m almost done with V.03 and this month’s FAGIOLINA.
The Swatchy and Centerfold page will be up soon. You can see the unedited photoshoot archive now if you want. The Swatchy and Centerfold are a little simpler than previous months. My main focus has been game development. Which it turns out, takes up a lot of mental bandwidth! I’m glad I still kept up with both of them though (and went back and shot September). Even during rough patches, I love digitally painting and painting my face.
I’ve improved a lot this year. My esoteric web magazina has been a way to learn at a steady pace and keep an organized* archive. I’ve been kind of paralyzed by self doubt for a few months. Couldn’t tell you, not Flaminia, exactly when it started. I think it’s a combination of some major life events and a prefrontal cortex that’s finally solidified. Even when the analytics showed single digits I still felt determined to do this, just to feel grounded. I’m starting to feel more like myself again. Slowly but surely, Flaminia.
*not well organized, but still…
10/27/2025 10:45 PM
Working on stuff and things and projects and this and that and something or other. Busy busy busy, Flaminia.
I haven’t been sleeping well. I wake up early to go to my (admittedly quite cushy) job. By the time I get home it’s already late. I could go to bed at a reasonable hour, but I just feel like I’m giving up my life by doing that.
I’m able to work on personal stuff at my desk (writing this at work right now), which helps a lot, but not without distractions. The pleasant demeanor and small talk I make here feels more artificial than any amount of makeup and padding. I hardly feel like having actual conversations with people I do care about anymore. I have an ideal situation in life right now, yet it still feels like a gilded cage.
10/23/2025 12:52 PM
hiiii diary. It’s been a while. Stupid Squarespace has been bugging out lately on my PC, so it’s been tough to chat with you.
I am starting to feel better. Maybe it will last, but I wouldn’t bet on it…
Gallery work is still going good. I might not have a centerfold in time this month again, but I kind of don’t care. I will do what I can. I have a lot of wonderful people that will support me, Flaminia, even if I miss the arbitrary goal posts I set for myself.
10/21/2025 10:46 PM
No time to really talk, diary. It’s busy busy, Flaminia.
The days are too long and too short. The walls are closing in.
Update needs one more feature, about a dozen dolls, and a few more squashed bugs.
10/15/2025 11:12 PM
Still a lot to do before V.03 is done, but the progress has been steady and exciting. Honestly it’s basically the only thing I have consistent motivation for lately (well, that and cookie clicker).
My birthday was yesterday. I turned 27 22 for the 5th year in a row. I’ve been feeling lost, restless, and have been having difficulty connecting with others. Maybe if I keep expanding this gallery I’ll find a version of myself I’m happy with again. Somewhere in the walls or in the expanse of sunflowers.
10/14/2025 11:22 PM
Development is going well! I want to have V.03 up in time for my birthday, but worst case scenario it’s late. It’s not the end of the world. I got my centerfold up late and ended up having more fun with it. I’m learning a lot really quickly, and that’s ultimately what this is all about. I do hope other people come visit this space, but I’m gonna hold off on advertising it until it’s more put together. I was able to reuse one of my site assets in a very cute way. You’ll see it all soon enough <3
10/10/2025 4:19 PM
Didn’t get a ton done today. My actual job job was busier than normal. Oh well, probably good to give my brain a little downtime. I doodled and wrote out what I want done for the next gallery update.
10/08/2025 5:28 PM
I’ve traveled in directions I did not know were possible. A doorway into a vast open space filled with sunflowers. I took a photo there in my favorite shiny dress. It’s hard to keep your balance standing on sunflowers, but when I fell I found myself back where I’d started.
You can come visit soon, but I need to finish cleaning up the place first <3 In the meantime, I made the photo my belated September centerfold (and I might put some more up there later this week too).
10/07/2025 8:29 PM
The leaves are starting to fall, but the days still feel like they’re blurring together. I’m all over the place. Exhausted and wired at the same time. Just keep going in a million directions and hopefully I’ll end up somewhere different from where I’ve been before.
I put up the uneditorials for the “September” centerfold I shot this weekend. Beautiful pictures. Although I should invest in a better setup… oh well that’s what the edits are for I guess.
I’ve been squashing a bunch of bugs in the gallery too. Still only a couple rooms. I have a lot of ideas (shocker I know), but I’m going to get everything working first before I get ahead of myself.
10/07/2025 1:09 PM
Making a new project file was the right call. I learned a lot from the last draft and I’m basically caught up to where I was already, but it’s a lot more organized now.
I wish I could start a new folder in my head and get all the clutter out. Just have a neat simple file for who I am. Memories that don’t get lost or corrupted.
My photoshoot for the “September” centerfold went fine. I’ll edit those tonight or tomorrow. It’s already a week overdue, so I don’t feel a rush to finish them anymore. I’ve been enjoying working on my 3D virtual space a lot more lately anyways.
10/06/2025 9:53 AM
Got some outfits ready for pictures! I love playing dress up, and working on my dress up game(/prototyping gallery). I realized at this point it’ll be faster to start a new file that’s a little more organized. I knew I’d get to this point (this was already my third project file), that’s why I started small with just two rooms. It’s what’s called a “minimum viable product” in the game industry. I cleaned up my doodle room in Blender and made a texture atlas to use less files, and I added a little vase with flowers.
Vases have become one of my favorite motifs this past year. There’s a lot to love about them. They’re shiny, colorful, sheer, have smooth curves, flowers, and they’re fragile. Perfectly functional one minute and then BANG! Sharp dangerous little pieces in all directions.
Reminds me, Flaminia, of someone…
10/03/2025 3:07 PM
I forgot today was Yom Kippur. Holy day of fasting and atonement or whatever. It would be easier to remember if it wasn’t on a different day every year (thanks lunar calendar). Anyways, I didn’t call out of work for it, nor am I fasting this year. I’ve felt guilty and apologized for plenty already this past month alone.
I have a complicated relationship with my faith, which is fairly common in a modern world that seems at odds with ancient traditions. Maybe I’ll write about that more later… for today I want to do more work on my digital gallery and plan outfits for a photoshoot this weekend.
10/02/2025 3:26 PM
It’s a new month. I got the new FAGIOLINA started. I didn’t finish the September issue on time. Oopsy. I put a lot of pressure on myself to meet these deadlines, despite this website getting single digit traffic. It’s because here I feel like I’m building something real. I’m able to express ideas that don’t fit into character limits and file constraints. Learn, grow, and experiment without putting myself into an easily digestible algorithm appeasing box.
I still want to interact with others though. I’m not aiming for a huge audience. I just want it to be easier to share my work with people who are organically interested. I can’t realistically expect people to check my website unsolicited, but I know they’re checking social media anyways. As much as I hate it, I still compulsively open Instagram.
I was posting screenshots of my diary for a while to do that, and it was ok, but too ephemeral. It didn’t seem important enough to warrant full on posts, but then I realized… why not? Might as well haphazardly share what I’m doing instead of occasionally posting more polished things. It’s not going to get “engagement” either way. I’m just gonna have fun with it and take a more casual approach.
10/01/2025 4:14 PM