Pretend Interviews with Real Comedy Pageant Contestants!
Connecticut Drag™ fans across Hartford County the world are violently convulsing in anticipation of the third annual Comedy Pageant at the Chez Est this Saturday August 30th at 9 PM. Seven have been hospitalized and two are in critical condition. The public is literally dying to know more about the upcoming event!
However, I super didn’t feel like actually talking to any of my costars. Instead, get to know the contestants better with these highlights from pretend interviews conducted by me, Flaminia:
“It’s nice to be in something my mommy didn’t produce.”
-Sauvignon Blanc
on what she’s excited about for this pageant
“Butter.”
-Frizzie Borden
On something she always keeps in her purse
“Those chew toys that light up when you bite them. Those are epic.”
-Perry Winkle
On what he’d spend the $500 prize on
“Yes, I have IBS, but no, I won’t let a little loose stool control my destiny!”
-Maddie Triss
Unprompted
“It’s gotta be Wario… or maybe Bowser.”
-Tiki Malone
On her celebrity crush
“Start lightly in the outer corners, then go really deep into the creases.”
-Nicolette
On how to really please an older gentleman
“Definitely Dolly Parton, Madonna, or Cher.”
-Bonnie Petite
On who was responsible for the disappearance of Malaysia Airlines flight 370
Come see me, Flaminia, and all these less important people this Saturday August 30th at 9 PM at the Chez Est!
